You don’t know what you don’t know.  That is true in every situation, but in leading a school, I knew I needed to know what those missing things were.  Even though our school days were thriving, I knew that the school itself needed more, but I didn’t know what that “more” was.  The first time I met with my Doctorum mentor I described my leadership as Swiss cheese: really robust where it was, but filled with a lot of holes.

With wise mentors and encouraging cohorts, I was able to see what those holes were. Clear checklists and goals, action items and timelines were laid out. Although my school was not asked to be a cookie-cutter of other schools, I was held accountable to combing through, praying through, and contemplating each document, each calendar item, each decision with purpose.  And as I did so, those holes started to fill.

But Doctorum wasn’t just a lifeless to-do list, it was a warm resting place for being challenged, yes, and for deep encouragement.  Like so many other Heads of School, I thought my role was an accident. I fell into this thinking it would be temporary, believing that God had someone better, someone smarter, someone more equipped in mind.  And He actually did.  He made me the better leader, the one whose reliance is only Him.  He made me smarter – well, maybe not smarter, but He did surround me with wise people who could explain things and coach me along.  And He gave me more clarity.  He refined my work and the work of the school.

Did you know that the holes in Swiss cheese are called eyes, and if a cheese doesn’t develop them, it is then called blind?  Here in this fallen world, my school will always have areas of weakness, my leadership will always have holes, and I, myself, will have blind spots.  But, I am eternally grateful for how God used Doctorum to let me see them, let me not be afraid of them, and to trust that He is the one who is making all things good.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! 

                 ~  Psalm 34:8